CREATING THE PLAN

For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not of disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

My first year out of high school I thought I was so smart, no one could tell me anything. I was officially a woman. All these years I waited to make decisions on my body, to be able to go to the club and now the time was finally here. I went out with my friends from my neighbourhood so that I could be with my boyfriend. No one approved of him, he was the neighbourhood gangster and I was the little church girl. Shortly after our entanglement, I found out I was pregnant. The feeling was mixed, I was happy but I was scared. What would my parents say? How would my dad feel? His daughter recently graduated, I was supposed to go off to college and now pregnant. Over a few months, my mom noticed the changes. I was hormonal, sick and preferred specific food. This was not in the plan. We discussed the pregnancy with my parents who were both very furious. They could not believe how I would ruin my life for someone who didn't make plans for their future. That sentence hits so differently when you are grown and mature mentally and emotionally. At that time I could not understand why they would say such a thing about such a nice young man. That relationship in the end brought me so much heartache; I first lost the baby, then I found out about his multiple girlfriends and realized how much of a liar he was. This was not in God's plan at all for me to go through this. His plans are for good not of disaster. "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, " says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine." Isaiah 55:8 NLT

I made so many mistakes I didn't know how to go back to God. I visited the church I was attending back then and felt so guilty the entire time I was there. I was so embarrassed I did not want to return. At that point, because of shame and condemnation, I took myself out of the ministry and went to battle in the world on my own. Life seemed so easy and the relationship with God seemed harder. The enemy used the lust of the flesh, vanity and carnal desires to lure me into the world. I never imagined how much more heartache was out there until I met a few more liars friends and relationships that ended horribly. Over time breakups got easier and my heart became hardened, I became emotionally unavailable. Hurting people was normal and I thought I needed to teach others around me to be stronger to be ready for the world. Years of being in the world there was one day I visited my mom's church and they had an altar call I went up. I tangibly felt the Holy Spirit in that place ( I know now that it is the Holy Spirit but I felt a feeling that was strong and inviting). I went up but I never really changed. I went out for drinks after the service and continued living the way I used to and at some point after I moved my boyfriend in with me. There was nothing bad that happened I just felt so uncomfortable and unhappy with this arrangement. I couldn't do it anymore I cried out to God for help. He gave me a way of escape but I still did not fully surrender, not until the encounter with my Pastor. I felt the Holy Spirit radiate from him, I could not run any longer. I started attending the Bible Studies, then leadership class and began attending Sunday Services regularly. I dreaded the thought of being a churchy girl but I needed to stay where I could be protected. Out there in the world, I had no protection from the tricks the enemy has, the lies he tells and the problems that came. Fast forward 15 years later I was able to go to college and fulfill the things that were in the plans but I did not follow GPS and the further I went off the route the longer it took for me to get back on track. If only I could tell every kid, every high school student. Kill, steal and destroy is the mission of the enemy. I never imagined I would still be a college graduate nor did I think I would be a business owner. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

God told people like Jeremiah and Ezekiel to see beyond what their natural eyes could see, His plans are so much greater than our plans. God places a picture, a seed in our hearts and allows us to develop it like developing a picture. As we start to water the seed with our imagination, through meditation the seed develops into a sprout. There is something that is growing. He places a seed in every one of us to work on and develop. Imagine God moving you to a place where all you could see are dead, dry bones. A dead situation where nothing can come from it. To see a place barren, undeveloped, hopeless, failed and void of a future. God asked Ezekiel, "can these bones live?" He gave the best answer when you don't know the answer for yourself, "you alone know the answer to that." Then God said to speak a prophetic message. Even when you think nothing good can come from your situation God has a bigger plan and picture for you. Although you may have made many mistakes and are still making mistakes God wants you to still seek Him, like David. David messed up but went back to God-worshipping and crying in repentance. Can these bones live? Can life be better? Can my souse come back or change? Can my children live for Christ? Can I still get married? Can I still have children? God said to prophesy, speak to that situation.

Imagine a murderer like Moses wondering why would God choose him, he left his home country not looking back for anyone for years. And now you want me to go to Pharoah to help people who may not even be receptive to my help anyway. Or even when God told Samuel to go to Jesse's house and choose one of his sons. Who would've known that it would be the one outside tending to the animals? He probably smelled foul, he was little and was obviously rejected, his dad did not even consider him when Samuel came to anoint this 'special' son. Or Joseph that was also rejected and hated by his brothers. Sold into slavery but later he became Prime Minister. Today God is saying that no matter what your situation is looking like right now He has bigger plans for you. Pay attention to the vision He has placed in your heart many years ago, focus on it, develops it, dwells on it and imagine it coming into fusion. Psalm 37:4 says we are to delight ourselves in the Lord. Find pleasure, joy, hope in the Lord. I once saw God as this dictator and this being that sends judgement. He is a Father that never fails that knows the end from the beginning and has plans that surpass our minor thoughts. He is a big picture thinker and has given us a business plan so we can have the best outcome for our lives but when we do not follow the business plan we shift and create a different outcome for ourselves. Imagine Him-God knowing that this job is not the job for you and within weeks they will fire you when there was another job scouting for you but you chose one based on your feelings. Or jumping in a vehicle with someone and they got in a car accident but God never sent you in that car in the first place. Imagine how He feels loving us so much and seeing the mistakes we make because we keep choosing to not listen and do it on our own. It makes me think of how my dad felt knowing I was making every sacrifice to send this girl to college and she chose to become a woman before her time. There were days when I did not know what God's plans were for my life. I could not hear from the Holy Spirit myself and do understand what I was doing wrong but after spending time seeking God. Reading the Bible laying in bed just thinking about what His scripture is saying. I know the plans I have for you...another version says I know the thoughts that I think toward you. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope. Reading it in a different version asking myself what plans does God has for me, while laying there in silence I could hear His answer. God's plan may not always be clear or understood by us because of so many things but once we submit our will, our thoughts and our actions to him it is something for God to work with and we can get back on the route for our lives.

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