FEAR & ANXIETY

2 Timothy 1:7-8 NLT

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don't be ashamed of me, either, even though I'm in prison for him. With strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News.

For 2 years I had been stalked and harrassed I didn't know what I had done to this person, why were they hounding me, why me, did I smile too much, look too long, how did they target me?? For months I was accompanied by a family member, friend or boy-friend whenever I would commute (I was still partying/clubbing). This became so exhausing my independent life was being taken away by a unknown person, a person I could not pinpoint in a crowd. I woke up one night with my window being opened I quickly got up sprayed bug spray; screamed and called the police. "There is nothing we could do until he actually does something" I remember feeling hopeless and helpless. What was I to do? Wait until he comes again? I lived in a quiet residential area I couldn't understand how and why I was targeted and for 2 years I could get no help from the relevant authorities. I thought about hiring a hitman, not working and just staying home. I could hear the sound of each leaf as the wind blew against them, I heard the sound of the dog pant outside, I could hear the scurry of the cat across the grass at night. My senses were hightened, when I would close my eyes I never really fell asleep. I was always awake, alert, this person took more from me than I even knew at that point. He showed up on my job, to events where I had valet service asking for the keys to my car this person was obsessed. And I was tired, I gave my resignation letter to my employer I packed and moved to a more remote island in the Bahamas, hoping this would resolve the anxiety and frustration but within months of moving I had an anxiety attack. It felt as if it was starting over; I saw it in movies and on tv but who would've know that I would be experiencing this. I was on my way home from work and a car was behind me longer that I was comfortable with, I turned around and headed back to work (20mins away) where I had shortness of breath, my head was pounding I felt like everything was spiraling out of control in that moment. I was a very private person not one of my co-workers knew why I came there nor did my boss but whoever was at work on that evening shift quickly found out when I returned crying hysterically. Even after that move I had yet to have really good sleep. Months later after still alot of discontentment I moved to Canada and after about 3 years I was on the Anthony Henday (highway) a car was behind me with a man with a black hoodie on (note: it was winter) I was enveloped in fear my head began throbbing, I was so afraid and in that moment I opened my mouth and declared I would no longer live in fear. I spoke the word "God has not given me a spirit of fear but one of power, love and a sound-mind" the enemy comes in different forms to steal our joy, peace and sound-mind. Even upon returning home I may be startled if there is something that may jump out but I was not longer walking in fear; this person, the enemy was no longer going to steal anything from me.

Without knowledge of God and his love for us we can allow the enemy-Satan in different forms to attack us continuously. Believe me fear can be so crippling and decapacitating. I found that through mentorship and counselling it has helped me tremendously. In order to overcome fear I had to believe and have faith. I had to stand on Gods promises to me, I needed to apply the word to my daily life. This did not all happen at once but over weeks, months and years. The person I am today began having victories through faith. This is not a recital but application; like the Samaritan woman having an encounter with Christ. After I encountered God, His love, His resume and my life was no longer the same.

How were you able to cope and deal with fear or anxiety? Have you experienced Gods love? Let's talk...

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