RELATIONSHIPS

There's a song by Lauren Daigle declares that we are loved, we are strong, we have help and that we are chosen by God when the enemy says we are not enough that we will never measure up and that we are weak we know that it is a lie. Sometimes we don't realize the enemy is lying to us (John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly). Many times I bought into that lie. We are loved, we are fearly and wonderfully made, we are child of the King,we are a part of the Royal priesthood.

One of the hardest things for me has been expressing and saying to others that I love them. What is it about feelings why we seem to always want to pretend as if we don't get hurt, angry, sad, frustrated, humiliated and so on with the people we love? The quest and longing for a 'right' relationship with God taught me that I needed to have right relationships with people. The first commandment is to love and this was one of the hardest things for me to do. When relationships fail or are fractured the enemy plays tricks (as he normally tries to do because he is the master trickster) on our minds making us feel at times that we are unworthy, or unloved etc but remember it is a smokescreen; check beyond the frustration there is far better in store for you. God created a help-mate comparable (similiar, close to or equivalent) to, He believes in 'right' relationships. He is intentional on who we connect to so if something is failing check-in with our Father for instructions. I know the arms of flesh will fail me so how do I have inter-relationships without being super 'independent' (that I am still learning) but what I've come to realize is many times we don't make our expectations clear and also make it clear when it has not been met. One of the closest relationships to me was strained and continously ended in arguments aaahhhh!!! I was getting so frustrated but I continued to put on the mean girl face and continued like the strong woman I was taught to be, but the relationship was still in a deficeit. I went to God with it, I did not know what else to do. One day like someone whispered in my ear I was told to listen, as my loved one spoke I tuned into what was actually happening. We both had expectations that were not being met and it left both of us frustrated, angry with resentment toward each other so in every converstaion we went head first in conversation prepared to argue. God loves us so much and is so intentional about everything about us.

An example of good friendship in scriptures were Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18:1), the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. That is so amazing how they had that kind of friendship and love for each other. Their bond was so strong they made covenants with each other and Jonathan took his royal robe and placed on David, he cared for his friends well being. He wanted David to be given the same treatment he would get. Jonathan's father Saul went against David and wanted to kill him, but Jonathan kept his oath and continued to upheld his friendship by warning David. As we are in continued growth on love and right relationship we can study this story and see how they were able to keep a pure friendship.

On the other hand, I have some very amazing frienships like that of Jonathan and David. When my love tank starts to feel drained and needs replenishing I would usually connect with those that would refill me with love and kindness. We need relationships, we need people we need it like a car needs fuel and in many ways we shut down when we are not getting those needs met. Some relationships that are severed, fractured and hard to deal with takes lots of time and patience to heal and repair. If it certainly is someone you love it is worth it...do not get weary in well doing. Pour a little love on the fracture every so often giving time to heal. As a therapist I see this like with a muscle that had some disruption we:

R-rest: give the relationship some space

I- ice: allow the heat, fire or frustration to cool down

C- compress: show love; send messages, hugs, display of love language

E- elevate: find things that are nice to say about them, praise/honor them, show them they are special

I will try out the RICE method how about you and let me know how it worked for you!

#freindship #relationship #rightrelationships #love