LIVING ON THE FENCE

Learning the word of God through a new lens. God has a standard of how He wants to relate and connect with us. Here are some examples of what He thinks of people that have one foot in and one foot out and even possibilities why we may live this way.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

1 John 2:15-16 ESV

No longer being a slave to this world.

Living in Christ has to be one of the best decisions someone can make in their lives. The cool thing is there is a manual, a how-to on living, loving, and dealing with obstacles. There are not many other things in this world that are so detailed and benefit in every aspect of your life. In addition to having a daily personal guide, 'The Holy Spirit help you make simple decisions. What to wear, who to date, when to travel; the Holy Spirit is there at our convenience if we allow Him. Not allowing the Holy Spirit to guide is like having GPS and not using it.

Today we are discussing the reasons many people live on the fence, not really making a decision to commit to God, floating around with the idea but not allowing Jesus in as their personal Lord and Savior.

Trauma

For many of us some time or the other there has been some trauma that has caused a chain reaction in our lives. From bad break-ups to seeing Christian leaders sin, 'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God'-Romans 3:23. Pain from trauma can dwell with people for years going unnoticed. Think about the way you may react to a sound, words, actions, and even how people look. The pain people experience translates into other aspects of their lives, but today let's begin by just talking about the different ways people experience trauma and how we react.

What is trauma?

This is an emotional response to a traumatic event. There are times that we may not recognize trauma because it began so early in our lives and eventually became normal. For example, disappointment from parents, adults, and family members has made an impact on your life, especially on your upbringing. There was someone that grew up with her aunt because both her biological parents did not commit to parenting. For years this child grew up feeling rejected, hurt, and disappointed wondering what she did to deserve being tossed aside. As an adolescent, she began protecting her heart from this rejection that she had reminded herself over and over that she would never let it happen to her again. She created an imaginary wall that no one was able to get through or even understand because from a young she had a family she had loved and a community but the love she wanted and desired was from the parents that never offered their love and undivided attention. Deep down this girl desired the love from her parents which was a deniably painful disappointment. How can this girl understand love from a god who she has never seen when the parents that she can see failed her so incredibly.

Second, there is someone that has seen a dysfunctional system. A marriage where parents live as roommates, no love, no investment in their relationship or the family. This is also another type of trauma. The Bible has summoned us to love, submit and respect in marriage but seeing families even in the church as Christians not live to this commitment forms a sort of trauma, a way that we will guard against certain types of people that may look remotely similar to what we have seen through the lens of pain.

Another category of people can also be those that had horrible experiences in the church with someone mistreating them, mishandling private matters, and gossiping but if we look at the word God opposes all of these things. Now, what do you do? This is where many people are living on the fence. There might be trauma and many other issues that contribute to their decisions and actions toward deciding to not make a decision lol. People that have experienced trauma often lack trust.

Trauma

Trust

Submission to God

Trust

Trust is first a belief in someone or something. The Webster dictionary defines trust as a firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of someone or something.

If someone has seen abuse of the church, authority, and marriage it can be hard for them to articulate love from a trinity that is unseen, as well as the people who they can see are not worthy of trust. There have been endless conversations on trust based on David and Saul but there are so many, like Pharaoh using his power to kill all the boys under a certain age just to appease his desires or when we look at at the story of Cain and Able, Isaac and Rebekah or Esau and Jacob. This shows the state of our heart from the very being, filled with selfish desires, impurity, and misuse of power and knowledge but we have been taught - to ask for knowledge. King Solomon was the wisest king known but he also made mistakes because he brought sin into his home when he married someone that worshipped other gods. Do you remember the Bible telling us not to be unequally yoked? His value depended on his connection to God but when sin came in, it brought impurity. Hence, his end was not as good as his beginning. Leaders that show that they are self-seeking lose the trust of the people they are following.

The story of Esau and Jacob began with an unseemingly battle of one twin pulling the other back, one parent loving the other more and one brother stealing the other brother blessing with a parent helping to conspire on stealing and being deceiving (lying). Imagine growing up in a family where this takes place it can be difficult to trust.

Tools you will need to begin your relationship with God

If you have read the Bible and more or less submitted to a certain part of the word of God and not others reflect and ask yourself why. A relationship with God is like any other relationship where you spend quality time, affirm, nurture and communicate.

God wants our time, money, and talents. Sometimes it does not all happen at once but if you have time to help build the body of Christ with your talents like mentoring that is time and talent. There are times we sow seed into our church and the people doing ministry which is our resources or finances. The thing is God does not need us it is pure love, more so a desire for us to love Him. There is no way to buy God's love or twist His arm to get Him to answer our prayers. Until we understand that people will continue to think their good works and fasting will change the hand of God which then shows us that God is like man, he can be bought.

During devotion and even when we celebrate God corporately is a way we spend time with God 'Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.'-Psalm 100:1 This is even affirming who He is as Alpha and Omega, the God that made creation, the God that knows the beginning and the end. This is the nature of the God we serve. God works on a trust system as well, He gives what he stands for and principles that we should live by to see the results He has promised.

Playing with this system on the fence never reaped any results. Fasting and praying but continuing to live in sin-the Holy Spirit cannot and will not dwell where there is sin. He may come and visit from time to time but if you want a fulfilling life with no depth in God that is where many remain on the fence.

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. -James 4:4

Living on the fence is like the scripture that says “Because this people draw near with their mouth and honour me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men. It is being religious and pretty much a pharisee. Do you remember when Jesus came to the earth there were a group of people that continued living by the law, these rules that talked about the coming of the Son of God but because they created such a wall of control they were face to face with the Son of God and they abused and continuously tried to trap Jesus?

Living on the fence with a belief that you can be half in and half out is not a thing 'because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.' Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is not fully committed? Not God.

Submission to God: no longer living on the fence

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

2 Corinthians 13:5

What is required for a relationship with God?

Submission to His word, to a relationship as well as believing that Jesus is Lord over your life. Then making small steps to building and developing the relationship, similar to the way we correspond with one another on the phone is how you would connect with God through the Bible (His conversation with you and me) as well as through prayer and praise. There is no longer a law like when Moses lived but when Jesus came He provided a way to connect with God Himself to ask for mercy and forgiveness for our wrongs.

Although trauma may happen just know that there is a God that loves you and cares for you and if you are not a part of His kingdom there is no true revelation and protection, like when I said the Holy Spirit can tell which way to drive and advice on what to do but like the GPS if you do not put in the coordinates, the location it is useless to you. God is not like the man he does not lie and His truth is true, He is too faithful to fail. To see His faithfulness we would need to step in faith that God will deliver you from your situation and guide you to where you can grow and be delivered from the trauma and pain. God will place people around you who you can trust as well as learn to love with boundaries. Submission to someone you can trust, respect and you can see loves you will come so much easier.

In conclusion, I pray that you have the grace to relate with God based on His resume rather than your past pain, trauma, and lack of trust toward the people that failed you. Remember He is too faithful to fail and He does not lie.

#livingonthefence #lukewarmchristian #livingintheworldandwithgod