PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.

James 3:2

Did I pray long enough? Did I say the right scripture? Did I sin? Over and over I would try to be perfect in every way to make sure I was right with God. The longer I prayed the less I felt as though I was getting results what was happening? Why was God not listening to me? I was being righteous, I believed that what I did would give me the results I wanted. It is a crazy balance to remain in grace through Christ Jesus and becoming like many other children of God that are living by the law. When we read the old testaments Moses, Abraham, Joseph and many others lived under the law. They were not able to God for themselves, they needed a priest, someone that was closer too God, that lived a more holy life, someone who God had chosen to come before Him. The children of God then HAD to cleanse themselves and bring sacrifices to remain right with God but God sent a part of Himself as Jesus to cancel the law and bring grace. Grace is God's way of showing you His love and mercy. Mercy and love is a sign of kindness, blessing, favor, or even covering from God through the use of people and even systems. Through grace we have the ability to cry out to God ourselves, not having to go through a priest to pray on our behalf.

God knew the end from the beginning. He knew our shortcomings, but allowed grace. Grace is that leniency to mess up, to make our own decisions, to venture out into the world and allow us to choose Him for ourselves. He knew that man was weak, easily tempted, easy to forget and because we are gods we have this nature to want to be in control, to be independent and dominant. Which can sometimes be a blessing when we are in alignment with God and a curse when we are trying to things on our own. Although we make so many mistakes, we sometimes don't even be in a relationship with Christ but God still has mercy on us and answers our prayers, saves us from mishaps and delivers us from our own mistakes.

In the story of Moses the people who he was assigned to was stubborn, ungodly and seem to not want anything to do with God, but over and over God would forgive them and bless them.

In the story of Jeremiah God told Jeremiah I knew you before you were formed in the womb. If either of us forgot He is 'THE CREATOR' of course He knew us before we were formed in the womb He placed us in. He raised each and every one of us with an ability to do something that is built for greatness! The God we serve the one that you are now learning about is too faithful to fail. When Job thought life was a mess, nothing was going right, all that he worked for was taken away from him, God was there. Job started to waiver, it became very hard but he did not turn from the savior who saved him. Because he continued to serve God he never turned away from God, God showed Him favor, kindness and mercy. God delivered him from the plan of the enemy-Satan. Have you ever seen a lion hunting on national geographic? The devil, Satan, lucifer prowls, creeps and stalks to see when we get weak so he can use that time to keep us down, to devour us. What is so cool but really does not feel good is when God gives us a chance to learn Him and grow through certain experiences in our lives. Do you think Job knew that in order for him to double up on his investments he would have to first lose everything. Job was down to nothing, no business, no money, no kids and no resources. His life looked bleak. Where is this God that you serve? Why would you go through this? During these times are when we are growing and learning. Many times it is in those moments we remember God, it is in those times we are able to truly see God show up. After a major disaster like a hurricane, tornado, snow storm even those that do not believe in God cry out to God. It is in those moments when we realize how much we do not have any control we lean into God.

I heard a testimony of a Pastor that was doing the work of God building churches, bookstores, blessing people and travelling to preach. One day he was working on a church building and fell from a scaffold. Doctors had declared that he would never walk again and that his life will never be the same. The enemy is our seeking whom he may devour. That was a life saved from the plans of the enemy, that Pastor has opened even more churches throughout the islands and has impacted even more lives than he did before. He did not claim that doctors report and that severed spine was healed, he did not use a wheelchair and 25-20 years later still here to proclaim the work of God. If he sat and wallow in what 'they said' he would not be here today fulfilling his assignment. Our destiny is tied to the moments of imperfection, to the stories that we think is unworthy of our lives.

A few years ago I did not like my family. They seemed to have so many issues, no one was succeeding, there seemed to be tragedy lurking at every turn. I was sick of this, uncertain of what this was my reaction to this was toward my family. I stayed away for days and months at a time. I had made up my mind that I was not looking back, I would move on with life like I have seen other people not having to deal with my family. For years my younger sister and I would fuss and fight. When we were growing up we shared bedroom I made a literal line in the room that she never to cross. This line in a sense became the same line she could not cross in my life. Through many prayers of deliverance of my family, for them to be set free from everything lol. God drew me closer and closer to them and He delivered me. I was free from the bondage of control and manipulation. I always wanted things to go my way and if it did not I never speak to the person and again. When I understood how much God loves me and allows me grace why shouldn't I extend that same grace to others? God reintegrates in scripture that we are to love and He explains how to love and why we should love. Peter asks Jesus how many times should I forgive someone who has hurt me? Peter is thinking maybe seven times, cause it is impossible to allow someone so much opportunity to hurt us. Jesus responds so graciously responded with an amazing parable. Ever noticed Jesus never gave yes or no answers. He always answered with something to make you think. Jesus said no seventy-times seven. In that very story though he spoke of this master that was settling accounts but a servant had an outstanding bill he and his family would be sold to slavery. At this point the servant begged for a leniency. The master cancelled his debt, he was forgiven and he went about his business. As he moved along that very same servant meet with another servant who owed him money and did not show that same kindness, when the master found out about it he was tortured. God gives us the grace to make mistakes but to still show kindness to other, to show love to others.

I never knew I was not showing love, nor did know I needed to change, I could only see the speak in my sisters eye but never considered there was a log in my eye. Picture me being the child that God pregnant just out of high school, the one with the most sass always responding to every correction that came from my mom, I was the one that stayed away the most, that moved away, that never would answer phone calls; then having a child that does not even a fraction of what I did but can now understand how a parent would feel to be neglected after doing all they can to love raise and teach their child with the knowledge and understanding they had at that time. That log of bitterness, shame, resentment and discontent had to be dealt with. It's those tests when we have testimonies, it is the during the storm when we cry 'ABBA FATHER'. God uses those imperfections to perfect our walk with Him.

When I thought God was not hearing me, He was perfecting me. Those moments when I was reminded that I was not in control I remembered I have a relationship with the one who does. Often when I forget that god is not a Jennie and I am His servant I remember to be humble, I remember He loves me and wants only the best!

#Godsfaithfullness #Godistoofaithfultofail #perfectlyimperfect #Godsgrace

Scripture Reference: 1 Peter 5:8, Psalms 37:24, Matthew 18:21-35, Matthew 7:5