LOSS, WHY ME?
- Me Kelle
- Oct 24, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 27, 2020
Jeremiah 1:5
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."
I grew up in what I considered a typical nuclear family with my siblings, a dog, friends and went to a small private school nothing extensive. In high school two of my closest friends/neighbours died in a car accident. I got to school one day and met a friend at the entrance of the school crying; I thought this had to be a joke this must be a sharade. Then upon graduating I lost CJ my six month old son. As life continued there was one tragedy after another. Did God intend to bring such pain to me? Why me? For many years I was bitter and resented God; and in every situation I prayed but they still died. God knew how much these people mattered to me why would he take them from me? He is the creator isn't he? I became very cynical and the little interest that I had to pray, worship and attend church drifted away. Everything else after that was pure religiousness.
The enemy came to kill, steal and destroy but God came so that we can have an abundant life...the enemy tried to steal my joy, he stole some of my loved one's, but what he really tries to do is destroy our relationship with God. God does not impose himself upon us he stands at the door and knocks like a gentleman unlike his opposer who lies, is sneaky, and deceiveing. There are times we will mourn, there are times we will experience loss but what can happen is the blame game. We blame God and actually never pay any attention to grieving, to deal with our loss and emotions.
"Chal you gatta be strong", "man up you have to help..." or "don't cry". If it is one thing I have learned is that you should cry, you should process your emotions. There is biblical reference to our brother Jesus weaping, then in Deuteronomy after Moses' death there was a time to mourn; it is given to allow a response to loss. Without acknowledging grief we store these emotions that manifest in many different ways in our lives (anger, bitterness, resentfulness or even hate). Culturally I found that we (Bahamians) may not acknowledge a persons pain or saddness of a loss because we ourselves don't know how to process emotions. The inability to empathize when someone else is grieving and pretend nothing ever happened. In my view it seems that it is hard for us to even talk about our emotions in different areas in our lives and even greater after death. Through counsel I have been learning to use my words lol I mean really think about what I am feeling and being able to express it.
Also, as I reflect on those that left suddenly I wonder if they gave their lives to Christ? or Did they have time to ask for forgiveness? Learning who I am in Christ and His purpose for me gives me the desire, the fire, the zeal to no longer be embarrassed to share Gods love and really have a desire to see others saved. If you love someone you would not want them to be hurt nor would you want them to live in torment for eternity. If they are in Christ it is a celebration when they leave; they no longer have to be stressed over the things in this world, they get to hang out with other saints that left, to see the Savior, to have continous praise (joy). Although I am no longer afraid to die I do not want an untimely death, I would like to complete the mission, the purpose for this journey, the plan. As we see troops, squads, soldiers go out to battle; similar to the mission of the saints in Christ. Mission: to lead others to Christ, to love, to be an example and all the risks that come with the mission. A soldiers core values are the core values of the saints, it is what we call the Fruits of the Spirit.
When dealing with loss we remember that we celebrate the saints that get to go on before us as cheerleaders. That we must grieve, it is apart of the process and every life matters. We are on a mission for souls to be led to Christ.
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